Sign up for Match.com. You’ve heard it works. You’ve heard for one out of every three marriages, the couple meets online. Create a username, a password, a catchphrase, a list of things that turn you on.
Leave the list of things you can’t live without empty. In other people’s profiles they put things like their cell phone or the internet or their favorite book if they want to sound smart, but you know that this is bullshit, that if those things were taken away from them, they would be fine. They would realize that all they really need is food, water, sex, and sleep.
Consider listing these four things.
Try to figure out what your fifth thing would be and then give up.
Consider creating a list of things you can live without.
Ketchup, you think. Your second kidney, your spleen.
Consider putting cancer...
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